Shonika Proctor is the founder of Teen Entrepreneur Blog, Renegade CEOs, and a teen CEO coach.  She recently shared her Passioneering story with us, and can be reached at www.teenentrepreneurblog.com.   Her radio interview with us can be heard in archive at Blog Talk Radio:

Shonika, What Is Your Definition of Passion?

Something that is good for you. That fulfills you fascinates you and intrigues you.

The reason why I feel this way is that, growing up, many of the people in my family and my personal and professional network told me to do what you love and the money will follow.

I worked in the wireless industry for 15 years and I was very good at it. I was searching for my passion by trying different thing within wireless.  Then one day, through volunteering I realized that passion is something that is good for you.  You may not necessarily know how to do that particular thing, but because of your curiosity about it, you seek to figure out how to do it, through your internal compass.

Us:  What Are Your Passions, and How Are You Expressing Them?

My passion is healing people.  Healing means, in my world, basically pursuing your uninhibited growth.  Healing is not fixing, but empowering people. I believe that people don’t want to be helped, they want to be empowered. They want people to provide information and access to opportunities and things that will nurture and feed their curious spirit.

Some people think that giving up power makes you powerless, as opposed to (thinking that) giving up power empowers others.  Empowering others feeds their curiosity, fascination, and passion for the things that they enjoy doing. That’s essentially how I heal people, because then they don’t have to settle for what they don’t want to be doing. They feel encouraged to go after whatever their dream is.

What’s the Difference Between Helping Someone and Empowering Them?

The best example is with my teens. Helping a teen would be ‘Watch me do it first, and then you do it.’  Empowering a teen is ‘Why don’t you go try it now and then tell me how you feel afterwards? …If there’s something missing, what can I do to provide that little bridge for you.’

I call it ‘pivoting the teen access,’ how to find balance in your life in their (the teen’s) world.  The first thing is that you move the barrier that exists naturally between all of us.  And that invisible barrier is like ‘I don’t want to say this thing because I don’t want to offend this person.’  But it’s the truth, and it’s not necessarily criticizing them, but it’s information so they can improve.  In ‘helping them,’ you kinda of mouse around things so you try and do stuff and hope that they will mirror you.  In empowering them, you are creating the opportunity for them because you ‘I see you there already.  Let me see you there now!’

You tell them that you see them there, and then they say to you ‘I see myself there, actually,’ and then they ask ‘How can I get myself there?’  Then you brainstorm together.

When they realize their potential, they see that they can fulfill it through a network of people who are supportive of them.  Now, that’s a different role.  When people are empowering you and not helping….(they become) a tool and not an obstacle.

What Have Been Your Biggest Challenges?

The greatest challenge is when you do have a vision and you are ready to pursue it and those closest to you don’t buy into it.  That’s difficult because, for whatever reason – they see you in your current position or if they don’t feel you have the skills or financial resources – then they want to say “that’s a  ridiculous idea.”  I have the support of spouse and family, but sometimes they say to me “Shonika you are out there.”  Even they are questioning whatever I’m doing.  So the best thing that you can do is just do it.  Once you start doing it, people will see..

When I started my teen entrepreneur business, people said ‘that’s ridiculous. You’re working with  people under eighteen, you’re doing good for the world, but how are you going to make money?  They’re under eighteen, they can’t enter into a financial contract, and how do you know they’re going to be loyal to you.

It took more than six-eight months for buy-in from my own personal network.  So I didn’t share my dream with them per se, I just built a new network of people who supported me, called Chicks That Click – people who are in a similar situation all different businesses.  We talk every week and have accountability for each other.

What Was Your Passion Journey?

I worked in the wireless industry for 15 years. I was volunteering with youth for several years, and never saw myself working with teens.  I was just volunteering with the group, and it ended up that I was spending more time volunteering than I was at work.  I was very scared to make it into a business, not that I didn’t think I would make money, but I didn’t have any experience working with teens beyond volunteering a few hours a month.

I said to my teens: ‘Can I basically stretch myself?  I have to choose.  And this is the deal. I can stay in my company and get paid the big bucks and work it out later.’  One of my teens said ‘If you want to know the answer to your question, ask yourself, can you go on without the cellular and wireless industry, and can it go on without you?  And ask yourself, can you go on without your teens, and can they go on without you?’ …He said “ask them.”  And then I asked them… and that’s how I chose.

I chose to do it cold turkey.  In two weeks, like no more wireless.  I thought, ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get paid next month.’  …I was thinking about how I could survive in the next few months. All of my energy was focused there.

I just started looking up organizations in my city, Washington D.C.  that work with entrepreneurs – small business development center, SCORE, the economic empowerment office, and I asked them to align me with other people related to youth.  I looked not just for entrepreneurs, I wanted strategic partnerships.  In D.C.  we have a lot of headquarters for a lot of trade associations.  I got statistics and contacts from my trade association, for free.  The association of meeting planners, and they can begin to make the contacts for you if you tell them what you’re trying to accomplish. Just find one person to align with, and next thing there’s four people…  I put up a blog, and didn’t know technical mumbo jumbo.  I didn’t know how people were going to find me, optimization stuff.  And the next thing you know, I had a list of 20 kids, then 64 kids.  Eight months later, Next thing you know, my blog is apparently top 800,000 and four figure worth of kids.

My business now is crazy. One year in existence, I published a book, I have a home study course, people are inviting me to speak at different places, all run by an internal compass, no business plan. I just go off the ideas of my teens.

Sounds Like a Big Leap of Faith, and Letting Go of the ‘How’?

When you decide to 100% commit and not say ‘I’ll kind of do this thing until this thing blows up,’ you cut the ties and the answers come before the questions.  …The ideas will pop into your head and the resources will just be there.  The people who want to support you, the money to do whatever.

What would you say to someone If you follow your bliss, the money follows…it’s not happening

Then you’re trying to do what you’re good and not what’s good for you.  Living your dream is about moving in sync with your own reality.  The reason why things aren’t happening for you is because you aren’t doing the things that really fulfill you. You’re trying to make it work in your head.  That’s what I did with wireless.  I was a good salesperson and trying to make all kinds of things work.  But that was not what was good for me.

I never saw myself working with teens, but my history dictates that I work with youth. From 12 I was volunteering with young people.  Why I never make a connection in my head that I should pursue that path?  – I don’t want to be a teacher.  Well I don’t have to be a teacher.  I didn’t realize it.  It’s no surprise that I’m here. More than ½ my life I have been volunteering with young people   You have to forgive yourself whatever issues or stresses you had with your family….you have to free yourself.

That’s what it is.  If it’s not working. It’s because you’re doing the wrong thing for you.  Your today’s will be better than your yesterdays because you’ll be driven by trying to do that thing.

Is There Anything Else You Want Folks to Know about Your Story?

The only thing, in reflection, I would encourage them to write, in a journal.  It doesn’t have to be an elaborate thought, could be a word, a sentence, a doodle, a picture. If you just summarize your day and you see it over a time period. That is what forces you to change.

If you had to summarize your day in one word and you write a date on it.  Life is too short to wait or to long to settle.  Or what was the most memorable thing on your day. You look for the pattern of connecting thoughts. That’s how you identify your passions.  You can see that you have a lot of unrelated talents.  For example: ‘I can sew, I can play the guitar, I can cook’ – they all have to do with your hands. Most likely, whatever you’ll be doing with be with your hands.  So you can looking for specific things that you like to do with your hands. Then you can narrow down topics.

Thanks for your fabulous story Shonika!